Sorry about the crappy scan - I didn't get a chance to do it last night so I popped by the library on a break this morning where there's scanning machines that scan things but they come out kind of light (this was also a victim of the "end of the blue pen start of the black pen", but you can't see it from the scratch.

Before I started the blog, Wasp wrote one of the rare Listeners that I got out - "Two Down", with the Cluedo theme. Last year there was Symbolism, which ended up with a big M appearing in the grid. This time, we've got text messaging!

OK, I'll own up, I text message far more than I should. I caved about a year ago and added text messaging to my phone plan, and a quick check of my phone shows that thus far this month, I have received 147 text messages and sent 125. I don't like them, it just appears this is the now way to keep in touch. I have a twitter, but I have not used my phone to send anything to it (I haven't updated it in months).

So we have some eight-letter words that are mangled text messages, five letter words that are unclued and have something in common, and a big win in the 1-across department - with a hidden word of all things to give UVEA... we're away!

Except that UVEA only crosses two of the 8-letter entries and a five-letter entry. Oh well... those years of Inorganic Chemistry help out for 10 down - N(I)OB,ATE, 4 down is PUT with U replaced by AC for PACT, and I found the cluing to be on the easier (or on my wavelength) side, and the entire left half of the grid was finished in a first sitting, as well as sorting out which of the 8 letter words belonged to which of the numerical sequences (yes, there was a bit of peeking on Word Matcher initially, but the checking letters were generous enough that word wizards was all that was needed on the last few).

The five letter words similarly didn't prove to be a problem - in the left hand side I had G--IC crossing VI-WS and SC--E crossing TY-ES. So with VIEWS, GENIC, TYPES and SCOPE, we've got four words we could put TELE in front of to get real words (TELEVIEWS confirmed by Word Wizards), I'm on the way, and I thougt home and hosed.

The right hand side of the grid took two more sittings - mostly thanks to a stupid mistake - I had put MIT,TENS in 22, reasoning it that you could put cash in a bumbag. However that was wrong and confirmed by ARCHDUKE and USERNAME in the 8-letter entries. Chambers confirmed that MITUMBA was a real word, and Bradfords threw up BEHIGHT as a possibility for 37, and I was off again on the right hand side.

Nearly done - full grid, and now some extra numbers... U,I,S,R,P,U,O,S - hey, that's an anagram of SPURIOUS (which would work with "Phoney"). Was it a typo, did they mean to say the correct LETTERS instead of digits? Nothing on the stop press, but surely that's what it is, right?

So in goes SPURIOUS as the theme words, and I think we have it all done. After some of my recent catastrophes, this was a sigh of relief, and keeps my unbeaten streak with Wasp!

Victory to George! 2009 tally: George 23, Listener 16. Current streak: George 1

I'm heading out tonight to see an act that has come highly recommended, but I have to see it to believe it. I like what I've heard so far - here's "Tight T-Shirt" by Benji Hughes



Feel free to leave comments, and see you next week to find out more about the square root of 576 with Lato.

F'n bell!

I don't know if Aedites looks in on here, but I have found each of his Listeners a real challenge, from the first circular grid I ever filled in (yes, there was one mistake) in Babes, to hunting down a massive number of permutations of prime numbers in Euclid's algorithm. My heart sank immediately in the preamble. The first part sounded fun enough, grid is divided into C,D,E,F,G - so away go checking letters, and the run of real words we've been having. And then - bell-ringing!

Please, someone help me!

There are two things I cannot wrap my tiny little mind around - the Playfair square (now watch, since I've written it, there'll be one soon), and bell-ringing. This I think will be the first time (apart from Quadrivium) that there'll be a complete solution on the Listener site for a bell-ringing puzzle and maybe I'll be wiser next time.

Anyhooo...

I spent a massive amount of time on this one (a theme with Aedites), and I thought I might even get there in the end. Funny thing is it took me a while to determine which set of letters went with D,C,G, and E, but I have no F's in the entire grid??? (I still can't solve 6D, so maybe there's an F in there). So I assume that F is by itself?

There also seems to be a lot of letters that match up with D.

Hmmm...

Filling the grid wasn't too too bad - there were some really helpful clues that raised an eyebrow, like learning of the existance of XYSTI (also known as EGDDC), and HOG PLUM as a cashew. There was a lot of use made of Word Matcher to find possibilities once I knew all the letters - that proved invaluable in figuring out the long answer in 1D,7D,12D - WITH A popped out quickly. Surely there was a BELL in there somewhere - the first four letters of the 8-letter word could be BELL but that wasn't going anwhere, but BELLS could be the last word. BUILDING WITH A ... BELLS? A google search on that threw up an old poem describing a CHURCH as "'TIS A TALL BUILDING WITH A TOWER AND BELLS"... so that looks like the quote, and CHURCH goes in the bottom.

But then I'm completely stuck, and wondering the following

- are there really no Fs? Surely there's one in 6 down but I can't find anything to work...
- how do the bell changes work?
- what are the answers to 17 across, 28 across and 41 across (all letters are checked)
- how do the bell changes work?
- what is a bell change anyway?

Aaaah, the anguish! So close and yet so far. The answer should be up now (I have to dash off for an hour or so after submitting this, but soon I will know what I was missing)! Great challenge, Aedites, wish I could finish it off.

Victory to the Listener Crossword! 2009 tally: Listener 16, George 22. Current streak: Listener 1

I'm off to the Grey Eagle tonight to see Carolina Chocolate Drops - they're a really fun show, preserving an unusual form of music from this region



Feel free to comment, and see you next week for Phoney Waspy goodness.

Reminding me of t-shirts I see on a weekly basis

Rok is another new solver (or new pseudonym - does would that make it a newdonym?), and we have a grid celebrating a work of art (hopefully not Pollock again!), lots of clues that have extra letters in wordplay, the rest have a misprint. There's rather a lot of clues, so look for extra letters first. Grid should finish up with all real words (Word Wizards at the ready), so this doesn't look too too daunting.

Oh, and while I'm writing this, Australia is doing pretty well against England in the semi-final of the Champions trophy. Woohoo!

However the 1 across test fails, as I can't see what turned out to be a reasonably simple clue in the end. The first one in is ADMIR(e),(P)AL. Wow, a P? That wasn't a bad starting place, the old naval commander helped me get most of the New England corner, and the combination of 9,10 and 11 down giving me a THE as a word or part of a word from extra letters.

The first misprint was a bit of a stunner - BABY->BABA at 20 across meaning there's a Y? Nearby there's FACIAL becoming RACIAL. So a 9 letter artist with an F and a Y??? Thinking there can't be too many possibilities, I went to Word Matcher with the misprints I knew and looked for 9-letter words (as well as the F and Y, I had N from SENATE - SEDATE, and K from KENT - LENT), so looking for 9-letter combinations that had a F,Y,N and K - I realized typing it in... this is probably going to be Pink Bloody Floyd. And if it's Pink Bloody Floyd then it's going to be that album cover that I see on t-shirts of kids who weren't even contemplated when the thing came out.

I already had most of the right hand side of the grid filled, - enough to see the R O Y G coming down a diagonal on the right. There was WHITE as part of WHITER, so that has to be removed, fill in the rest of the spectral lines coming out of the prism. The extra letters were tracks on the album- SPEAK TO ME, TIME, MONEY, US AND THEM and BRAIN DAMAGE.

Cracking the theme helped me with a few clues on the top half I was struggling with (including 1 across), and I had a completed grid at the end of my second solve. I had to find WATERS, GILMOUR, MASON and WRIGHT (I'm not a Pink Bloody Floyd fan, but I've been near enough to know the names of the guys - I liked Syd Barrett but he was gone by then). MASON and GILMOUR were easy enough to find, but it took a little doodling to see the how WATERS and WRIGHT fit in - but it made perfect sense.

To make an equilateral triangle in a crossword grid, you'd have to go two up, one across to get the right angle - that was a pretty nice touch. I had little circles to find the rest of the thematic stuff, and here is the end product in its computer-altered glory...



I didn't care much for the theme, but I liked the puzzle and the construction, so thanks Rok for some real fun and a much more relaxed solve than some of my recent efforts. I nearly fell for a trap of misprints vs correct letters (if you look carefully at my grid, in the box I started putting the correct letters instead of misprints). So I'm declaring victory to George, and the ship is starting to be righted a little.

2009 tally: George 22, Listener 15. Current streak: George 2

Here's a double-dose of recent videos from my sketch comedy group The Feral Chihuahuas. The first one was the filmed intro to a live sketch where I play Biff Christ, the stoner teenage son of Jesus.



And a commercial for a product that restores your manly smell. I get to wear a mullet wig!



Feel free to comment, and see you next week for a question by Aedites.

No snips or sticks allowed!

I'm running late today, won't have my usual blathering up for another hour or two...

And that time has passed - Parsnip is either a new setter or a new alias/combination (I'm not going to be fooled on one of those again). We have some ingredients lacking definition, and a recipe that can be made with most of them, two long unclued entries across the top and bottom and it does appear that all clues and grid entries are normal and regular words. This is as good a chance as any to break the recent slump!

1 across is one of the unclued entries, so let's try that 11 across test - EN + anagram of MEALS is ENAMELS and we're off and running! Oh - sadly it looks like the days of the Friday pub session solve are over (I have to stay sober for Friday afternoon committments until at least 5) so my first solving session was over a rather delicious Saturday morning breakfast and what I lacked in beer I more than made up for in coffee. My first solving session went pretty well, I had most of the California corner finished, with a big hat tip to E-COD, and a fair chunk of the bottom done without Chambers or Bradfords. I had even cracked the 15/30 connection and wondered if there'd be a second Darwin Listener within the year (surely not). At the end of breakfast the major questions were...

1) is GOOGOL correct? It looked like it should work, but gave me -AOL- at 42 across and that didn't look promising.

2) Is 38 NEVI? (that was confirmed shortly after), and if it is, 41 is -EG-N-LD which is surely REGINALD, so maybe the recipe gives names?

3) Is 13 SYCONIUM? Is it even a word?

4) Why, if I'm doing so well with these clues, is the New England corner utterly empty except for DEATHS at 22?

I had a quick Chambers browse back at home to find out the answers were maybe, yes, no, and because I'm not as smart as I consider myself.

That was it until lunch a few days later (with Bradfords, always a good lunch date), and a brand new SYCAMINE from Word Wizards. 44 across was looming temptingly... -LLT-IN-S-IC- ... ALL THINGS NICE??? That would fit the names as the unclued entries. In my rush of joy I tried to write PUPPY DOGS TAILS across the top, but there wasn't room... oops - PUPPY DOG TAILS would be more correct proper, I guess maybe possibly.

Funny thing is that one of the very first Listeners on this blog used a different part of the same quote (and got me some curious attention on the Crossword Centre message board, I think the first time anyone noticed this blog).

Names! PETE would fit in, CLARE, REGINALD, looks like UNA or ENA across that middle bit. Why are these ingredients even here? (I hadn't even looked at them to this point). 32 is -ON. RON? DON? JON? (simon le) BON? And -E-I--A could be MELISSA or NERISSA. OK, got to figure out these ingredients, I guess.

The list of ingredients... well I've got the all things nice, so I need sugar and spice. I've got the puppy dogs tails, so I'm going to need sticks and snails.

My black pen went walkabout, so third and final solving session is in blue. Started with a hunt to get the last of the normal entries - VENAE and AESC being the ones that clinched that pesky corner, and then on to these ingredients.

The ingredients took a lot of cold solving and poking and poring (if they weren't in alphabetical order, I don't think I'd have gotten the last one). Since this is a crossword, where there's sugar there's DEMERARA! The first one could be (m)AN(I)SE, that's a spice. NE,RITE and DO,D,MAN (sneaky) are snails. A search for TRE---- gets TREPANG... well that could be a spice at a stretch???

One variation on the recipe... maybe sticks isn't right. A look online shows that I'm the only person on the planet that thinks this is "sticks and snails" but most of the time it is SNIPS or SLUGS. SNIPS doesn't help me, but a TREPANG is definitely a slug, and so is a LIMAX (confirming what I thought that 20 across was likely MAX). SINE is a name (thanks back of Chambers). That means I'm looking for a spice, and although I don't understand the wordplay, VANILLA looks like it would fit the last clue.

So my anagram of ANISE, DEMERARA, DODMAN, LIMAX, NERITE, SUCROSE, TREPANG, VANILLA fits my final set of names REGINALD, PETE, VERA, DORA, MELISSA, SINE, DON, MAX, MARTIN, UNA, CLARE.

Tricky there with the ingredients, Parsnip. A fun puzzle, a bit of a search there at the end (knowing I needed a V somewhere helped with that last ingredient), but I'm calling this a victory for George and a slump broken!!!!

2009 tally: George 21, Listener 15. Current streak: George 1.

Last week it was announced that Peaches is doing a show in Asheville. I am super stoked. This clip and song is by in no way safe for work, but here's the song that really got me hooked on Peaches.



Feel free to comment below, and see you next week for some Wisdom of Joints with Rok.

Domi - NO

If it's been difficult enough to find time to solve with Chambers and Bradfords handy lately, it's been harder to find time to sit down with spreadsheets.

Googly is a new setter to me, I see a few other numerical puzzles listed. I liked the theme, and thought I had a good starting point with the intersection of COP, COAP+CARP-CARD-COP and COAL+CARP-CARD being related. This meant that one of C,O or P was 5 or 10. I eliminted O from being 5 or 10, so C or P was 5 or 10. O was limited to a small number as was D... but that was all she wrote and I really only got two chances during the week to sit down and bang out a solution. So there's a paltry grid.

Well there goes a shot at an all-correct numerical year, and well done Googly for tossing up a deceptive puzzle that I just could not get a start on.

Victory to Googly and the Listener Crossword: 2009 tally - Listener 15, George 20. Current streak, Listener 3!

This weekend is the Brewgrass Festival. I'm lucky enough to get a ticket (woohoo) and can't wait for the beer. Unfortunately the musical lineup isn't as good as two years ago, when a highlight was the Carolina Chocolate Drops rocking a drunk crowd. Come back CCD! Here they are (and an advance warning, it looks like I'll be doing stand-up at next year's beer festival - the drunker the crowd, the better!).



Feel free to comment, and see you next week for a Parsnip Recipe

This backache is giving me an endemism

I just realised I've scanned the grid and left it on my laptop, so it won't be up until later tonight, but it's going to be a pretty funny read for those who like looking at my messed-up grids.

Poat last year brought "Reappearance" where I barely solved a single clue. So the only way is up, right? There's rules of construction, all clues are normal but ten of them have extra words, and an extra word means the answer goes in backwards. There's ten more jumbles, but nothing to indicate them, and some form of symmetry to the whole thing.

Do we pass the 1 across test? Robin's band are the MERRY MEN... so lose an M and contrive the wordplay, and we could have MERRY ENGLAND. Nothing to indicate it goes in backwards, so let's hope it is entered normally and bang it in. Looks like a good choice, because there's RE(d)BACK, R(HAP)HE (thanks Chambers... after last time with Poat I decided that every time I sat down with this one there was going to be a laptop, Chambers and Bradfords close at hand!). And looky there- 5 down is L,ARN so ABSENTEE is an extra word and we enter it backwards.

More fun with Chambers and I find KHEDA - also going in backwards, extra word WE'VE, AB,ED (another reversed... FISH-EATING as an extra word???), and KACHERI (anagram of THICK EAR - T). Which means that 4 is a jumble of EKE. Found a jumble!

And another one, since 15 is ELAPHINE (PH in ELAINE - well done George for remembering to check that back section which says ELAINE can come from FAWN). This doesn't match with me P and L, so jumble away. 18 across is ESCHAR (another hit and hope in Chambers) and the top half of the grid is starting to look pretty good.

Not so much the rest... MAI,NOR (which gets reversed, extra word UPWARD), and A,GO,G (looks like it could go in normally) are about the only things I have in the bottom.

Great... looks like I'm going to have another nearly-empty grid POAT experience.

And what am I meant to define with WE'VE FISH-EATING BIRD (OK, maybe FISH-EATING BIRD go together), UPWARD, ABSDENTEE, ORGAN?

In an extremely rare big brain moment, I see BA-KACHE and BACK... could both of those be BACKACHE??? If so, then 24 could be ACHENE. Ooooooh - symmetry!!!!! I had ENDE.... and some extra letters - ENDEMISM looks like a possible word. A square of BACKACHE and ENDEMISM? Well it got me a few more entries - MISMUT, SNASTE and LEMONED, which helped me get CUNEATE and CREPE SUZETTE across the bottom.

But I can't see any more patterns like this. What am I missing? And what's going on at 38 across?

I was thinking that flash of inspriation was going to get me there, but at that point I'm irrevocably stuck. Got a lot further than last time with Poat, and I think I may have had the moment where the penny tried very hard to drop, but got stuck somewhere in the machinery.

So Victory to Poat, yet again!!! 2009 tally: Listener 14, George 20. Current streak: Listener 2.

I'm having a rough second half of the year here! So let's get some advice from the experts... here's Peter Biddecombe solving the Times Crossword 24328.



Feel free to teach me the ways of the Poat, and see you next week for some dominoation of a nation.

Shut out by Lato... again

George vs Lato is sitting at 1 and 1 so far, with success on the Prime-minster themed "Yes" and a close but no cigar on the fat men surrounding "Explanation". Cut Out looks pretty innocent at the beginning, 15 thematic words, linked by anagram(!) or association to suggest a 32. Most clues are normal, seven have extra words to guide us to the 15.

We can't have the 1 across test, since the word that would go at 1 across is one of the 15! Oh, and 32 is tucked away there and is checked by two normal clues and three of the 15. Yikes...

We do pass the 9 across test, with A in SIM for SIAM. And then the dilemmas begin. 2 down is CELL in AIM reversed for MICELLA, 12 across is RE, GO UP around R for REGROUP, 3 down is M in AIR for AMIR. So what of 1 down and 4 down? The only two-word anagram of PROFOUND minus DON I can think of is UP FOR... which kind of fits the clue. The only wordplay I can see for 1 down is USHER - the middle for USER - if that's so then CONSERVATIVE is one of the extra words.

This makes the entry at 1 across UM-AU-... UMLAUT? What would that suggest?

My experience from here on in was pretty frustrating. In the last two Lato Listeners I got through the clues pretty well, but this one had me butting my head at a lot of them, and there's two that seem to be surely right to my tiny mind but maybe I'm missing something?

Take 24 across for instance... Presenter read out letters would be EMCEE, but then there's "and" and "card" extra. That wouldn't be on, would it? That didn't stop me writing EMCEE in there and trying to reconcile it with the down answers. I did finally get that one taken care of with FA|S|T and (c)OOPS. Never did find an adequate replacement for 24 across.

7 down is another one... surely it is STINK... S, KNIT reversed. But I can't find an answer for 10, 13 or 16 that works with it. 10 may be PINNACLE, but I can't see the wordplay that leads to that.

I'm probably also wrong at 33...

So after several sessions of bashing away, I think I have a half a grid, five extra words (sure of DAY, SCHOOL, BISCUIT), none of which seem to justify my probable thematic entries of UMLAUT and FLOOR (or FLUOR).

And I am stuck with several capitals Sssss

Well done Lato - victory to the Listener Crossword, and I'm going to have to pick up the pace to make significant improvements on last year!

2009 tally: Listener 13, George 20. Current streak: Listener 1.

This weekend is the LAAFF festival in Asheville, and I'm looking forward to it. I'm doing a show at 7, but hopefully before that I can catch the Mad Tea Party set. Aimee will love me for putting this up, here's their video for "Found a Reason", and the CD they signed for me





Feel free to comment, and see you next week for some Rules of Construction